The Minutes Before Boarding

I like airport terminals. Don’t really know why they call the area planes leave the “terminal”- rather unsettling honestly. Anyway. Terminals- they are great. Especially ones departing to a certain sunshine state. Bringing me back to my fiancé, whom I haven’t seen in Five Monthsish. But who’s counting? Sitting here in said terminals now, I thought I would muse upon what it has been like, to go without seeing your favorite person in person for that amount of time.

I’m in a very different situation than Cassie’s. I’ve moved to an entirely new place, found an apartment, and working 50-60 hours a week doing my dead level best each day to establish this newly opened business in a way that is uplifting to the team members and yet turns profit for the owner.

There are days that are a blast, days that suck, and crazy days that you look back on and ask “What exactly happened there?”. My family isn’t in the area, and I’m in a new church, so don’t have any close friends around yet. It is tough to be honest, and in some ways, having Cassie so far away in all of that is even more tough. What’s great though, is she has been there for me all the time. Be it through a random text, a surprise package or letter in the mail, a phone call, or our evening Skype calls… I know she’s got my back and willing to listen to my day whether I vent or whether I share successes. It is amazing how much one person can encourage you even when miles apart.

Ah the things we did to encourage each other and be there for the other. We didn’t want to just know about the other’s life in these five months, we wanted to be a part of them. This included many texts with pictures of snow, selfies, and daily activities, Emails about wedding stuff, Netflix Sessions, book studies, and of course- talking about food. It goes without saying, Skype calls are the one of the highlights of my week. We still talk hours without wondering what to say or having awkward silences. That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

Of all I’ve learned in the past five months, and I’ve learned a lot, the biggest thing is letting down walls of emotion I’ve spent my entire life building. I pride myself in being the “Fort Knox” of inappropriate feelings towards people, and learning to lower those immense walls for the person who should be allowed inside has been tough. It is terrifying to become vulnerable, to show weaknesses, to invite someone into the world of who you really are. And yet, when they are in and love you anyway,  is amazing.  I’ve found emotions are not just fleeting “feelings” of preference, but core pieces of who you are- regardless of circumstance. That when I say “I love you” to Cassie, it means more than words can accurately communicate.

Well, that’s the boarding call. This flight might be the longest of my life, because when I land I get to actually make eye contact with my best friend in the whole world for the first time in five months. 4 Hours, 34min and counting…


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