Happy New Year! January 2014 had come, and my life was consistent, and full. I had decided many things over the Christmas season about exactly how I was going to continue this Chick-fil-A thing. I had decided that when the Current IM got his store, I was going to move with him to wherever that was. I loved working under his leadership and guidance, and so, after much prayer and counsel, I knew that was the next step in my path. It would be a while though, as his store would not open until fall, so I had some time to spend still at home working, training, and preparing.
Chatting in the NutRoom had slowed immensely. We didn’t talk every day like we did before. Cassie and I didn’t have a reason to discuss forum things and she also got a job and was busy with that, so we didn’t talk hardly at all either. We all knew that March was coming, and so we all just looked forward to that, and continued in our day to day things. This continued into Mid-Januaryish, if I remember my days right…
I remember one night though, laying in bed thinking, as our friendships with each other continued to become more and more silent, more and more detached simply due to the ways our lives were taking us… I realized I didn’t want our friendship to become so distant like everyone I had heard and known before. I started thinking about what would happened when we all got married. Would everyone still be able to see each other? Would that even be allowed? Would we want to do that? Then I remember a thought popped into my head out of nowhere it seemed. It was “Well, you could just marry Cassie. That would solve a lot of problems.”
My first reaction was “Where did that come from?!” I certainly had not been entertaining that kind of idea. I had trained myself long ago to think of girls as nothing more than sisters in Christ until I was ready to get married. “When will you be ready?” The thoughts came again, unprompted. I mean, it was a valid question, one I hadn’t really given time to consider. And Cassie was pretty much one of my best friends and I liked her a lot…
“No. This is ridiculousness. Shame on you Austin- you’re better than that.” I thought and promptly shut out all the voices in my head and went to sleep.
The next two weeks I continued at work, which was super slow as always after Christmas, which gave me a lot of time to think and pray about the upcoming year. That same crazy thought kept coming into my head about pursuing something more with Cassie, and, as much as I tried to pray and push it out, it kept coming back. Since I could not remove it via thinking, I figured I would remove it via reasoning, since I value logic so much. I went about to prove to myself how I was in fact, not ready for marriage, not ready for something more than a great friendship. I asked myself questions about being a man of God, being able to defend my faith, plans for my future, and responsibilities of provision.
As I went through these questions I made for myself and compared my answers to what Scripture said, I found out that they pretty much matched up. That according to the Bible and the fruit in my life, I was living as a man of God with a plan to glorify Him. In no way perfect by any means, and stumbling everyday… but the evidences were there. And seeing those evidences upon self reflection made the idea seem a bit less far fetched.
One worth spending more time praying and pondering over anyway. So pray and ponder I did.by